{"id":542,"date":"2025-04-23T09:08:59","date_gmt":"2025-04-23T01:08:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.secondspringph.com\/?p=542"},"modified":"2025-04-23T09:08:59","modified_gmt":"2025-04-23T01:08:59","slug":"how-to-slay-your-midlife-dragon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.secondspringph.com\/index.php\/2025\/04\/23\/how-to-slay-your-midlife-dragon\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Slay Your (Midlife) Dragon"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I lived in the UK, I learned about St. George\u2019s Day, celebrated every April 23rd<\/sup>.   While not a public holiday, it\u2019s still marked with celebrations \u2013 cosplay, jousting and reenactments in English Heritage castles.  In the grand tradition of myth and legend, St. George slayed a dragon and became a saint. He faced a terrifying beast, fought bravely, and was rewarded with eternal glory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While I am no knight in shining armor, I\u2019ve faced my own dragons especially midlife. They didn\u2019t breathe fire and they didn\u2019t lurk in caves, but rather in boardrooms, dressing rooms and moments of self-doubt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. The Dragon of Invisibility:  The Feeling of Being Unseen<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This one wraps you in a cloak of silence. Ideas you once confidently voiced now wither on your tongue, unheard in the bustling marketplace of opinions.<\/em>  And when you do speak up, your insight is met with blank stares, as if you hadn’t spoken at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it\u2019s not just in your head. Research shows that over 50% of women over 45 feel overlooked in the workplace and beyond.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Food for thought\u2026 Maybe invisibility is actually a superpower<\/em>. Maybe, for the first time in your life, you\u2019re free to stop playing by their rules and start making your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. The Dragon of Irrelevance:  The  Questioning of Purpose<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This one weaves a spell of desire for phantom success, the one measured by rungs on the corporate ladder.  It’s the nagging thought that all those late nights chasing promotions now feel like chasing a ghost of a desire you no longer recognize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I used to believe that if I didn\u2019t make it to the C-suite by the time I turn 50, I\u2019d failed. I worked harder, pushed myself further until I realized I was chasing a definition of success I didn\u2019t even believe in anymore.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Turns out, I wasn\u2019t alone. One in four women consider leaving the workforce around menopause.<\/strong> Not because they\u2019ve lost relevance, but because they\u2019re tired of proving it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The real question isn\u2019t \u201cam I still relevant?<\/em> \u201c but it\u2019s \u201cdo I even care about the same things anymore?\u201d  <\/em>And if not, \u201cwhat do I care about now?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. The Dragon of Obsolescence:  The Burden of  \u201cToo Late\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This one whispers insidious doubts:  \u201cYour skills are outdated.  The world is moving on without you.  It\u2019s too late to try something new.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s the hesitation before trying a new technology or learning a new skill.  It\u2019s your own inner voice whispering, ‘You’re too late to learn this.'”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fun facts:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  • Toni Morrison<\/strong> published her first novel at 39 and won a Nobel Prize at 62.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Vera Wang<\/strong> opened her own bridal boutique at 40.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Julia Child<\/strong> wrote Mastering the Art of French Cooking<\/em> at 50.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    In this day and age, there is no longer such a thing as obsolete.  Like the next iPhone, It\u2019s all about upgrading to the next version of yourself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    How to Slay (or Befriend) These Dragons<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    1. Face the Dragon<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    In How to Train Your Dragon<\/em>, young Hiccup tames the most feared dragon of all by giving it a harmless name: Toothless<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Let\u2019s do the same. Name your fear.<\/strong> Write it down. Say it out loud. The moment you name the dragon, you take away its power.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Dragon-Taming Exercise:<\/strong>  On a piece of paper, list three fears that have haunted you.  Then write a positive phrase next to it.  Mine were: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cI\u2019m not good enough<\/em>\u201d | \u201cYou are a unique and incredible person.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cI can\u2019t do it.\u201d | <\/em>\u201cYou have a valuable message.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cWhat if I fail?\u201d | <\/em>\u201cBe brave.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Words matter.  So is self-compassion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    2. Find Your Sword<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Your sword isn\u2019t made of steel. It\u2019s made of knowledge and community.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n
    • Read about menopause, midlife reinvention, and the science of fear.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Surround yourself with people who challenge you and<\/em> cheer for you.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

      Sword-Sharpening Challenge:<\/strong> This week, commit to one small action.  Choose one book about midlife transformation or encore careers.  Reach out to one woman you admire who\u2019s thriving in her second act or someone who\u2019s younger and can reverse mentor you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      3. Own Your Legend<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      This isn\u2019t the time to shrink. This is the time to stand up, speak up, and step fully into who you were always meant to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Start saying:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \n
      • \u201cI\u2019m not old, I\u2019m perfectly seasoned.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • \u201cI\u2019m not starting over. I\u2019m starting from experience<\/em>.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

        Legend-Building Practice:<\/strong> Write a short letter to your future self about your plans.  Write about what you\u2019re curious about, what you need to learn and who can help you gain extra understanding and insight.  Then write a letter back<\/em> from your future self, acknowledging what helped you succeed and the people who helped you along the way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Your Dragon Slaying Starts Now<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

        If St. George were a menopausal woman, she wouldn\u2019t just slay the dragon – she\u2019d outsmart it and put it to work, like helping watch the kids. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Because here\u2019s the thing about dragons: They only guard what\u2019s valuable<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        So if your fears feel big, it\u2019s because what\u2019s waiting for you on the other side is even bigger.  <\/em>What\u2019s the treasure these dragons are guarding?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Freedom.<\/em><\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

          \n
        • Freedom to stop caring about what doesn\u2019t matter.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
        • Freedom to redefine success.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
        • Freedom to finally put yourself at the center of your own story.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

          Before you close this page:<\/strong> Write down the name of your most persistent dragon\u2014that fear or doubt that’s been holding you back the longest. Then choose one small, specific action you can take in the next 24 hours that defies this dragon. Maybe it’s sending that email pitching your idea, signing up for that class, or simply telling someone about your new dream. Do it before sunset today. This single act of courage is how legends begin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          Now, go claim your treasure\u2026 and let the dragons be your bag carriers. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"When I lived in the UK, I learned about St. George\u2019s Day, celebrated every April 23rd.   While not…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":543,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,13],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[9],"class_list":{"0":"post-542","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-menopause","8":"category-personal"},"authors":[{"term_id":9,"user_id":2,"is_guest":0,"slug":"jvinculado73","display_name":"Jasmin Vinculado","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/blog.secondspringph.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/1a.jpg","url2x":"https:\/\/blog.secondspringph.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/1a.jpg"},"author_category":"","first_name":"Jasmin","last_name":"Vinculado","user_url":"","job_title":"","description":""}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.secondspringph.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/542","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.secondspringph.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.secondspringph.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.secondspringph.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.secondspringph.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=542"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blog.secondspringph.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/542\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":546,"href":"https:\/\/blog.secondspringph.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/542\/revisions\/546"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.secondspringph.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/543"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.secondspringph.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=542"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.secondspringph.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=542"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.secondspringph.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=542"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.secondspringph.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=542"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}