Last week, I was frantically looking for an old notebook I had scribbled important notes from an online class. I went to my home office where I stored all my old notebooks – it wasn’t there. I went to the bedroom where I stored all our personal documents – it wasn’t there. As I was shuffling from one room to another, I kept asking my husband if he had seen it with a quickfire of phrases in rapid succession:
“Have you seen it?” “I normally place it here.” “I was just reading it the other day.” “Are you sure you didn’t set it aside?” “Do you think the cleaners put it away?”
This went on for the whole day until in my desperation, I decided to look into a drawer where I kept Coca-Cola memorabilia. And lo and behold, it was there. I found myself groaning: “Mata kasi ang gamitin sa paghahanap, hindi bibig!” (Use your eyes to look for things, not your mouth!)
That’s when it hit me – menopause had officially turned me into my mother.
Growing up with a Filipino mom meant hearing a steady loop of iconic one-liners: some wise, some terrifying, all unforgettable. Little did I know that years later, I’d be muttering these same lines… in the throes of menopause.
Here are some of the best (and most unexpected) meno-moments, narrated by my mom’s greatest hits:
1. “Lumalaki kang paurong.”
Translation: You’re growing up – but in the wrong direction.
Menopause edition: Said lovingly to myself while feeling like it’s puberty all over again: Irritability, mood swings and being irrationally angry at hormonal acne… really?!?
2. “Madaling araw na, gising ka pa!”
Translation: It’s almost dawn, why are you still awake?!
Menopause edition: Because my hormones decided to party and Insomnia is the DJ.
3. “Wag kang palaging puyat, nakakatanda ‘yan.”
Translation: Don’t stay up late, it ages you.
Menopause edition: Mommy, I’m trying but my body insists on doing a 3AM temperature spike and now my brain is insisting I forgot something I can’t remember.
4. “Papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako.”
Translation: You’re just on your way there, but I’m already on my way back.
Menopause edition: I’m told the symptoms will eventually go away and like a caterpillar out of a cocoon, I will emerge like a…….. I really don’t care, just make it STOP already.”
5. “Magpasalamat ka at hindi mo pa nararanasan ang mga pinagdaanan ko.”
Translation: Be thankful you haven’t gone through what I have.
Menopause edition: A line I will reserve for younger women who think “PMS is the worst.” Just wait, hija.
Our moms may not have had the words for “perimenopause” or “hormonal health,” but their tough love and timeless lines now echo with new meaning. This Mother’s Day, I’m thanking my mom — not just for the years of guidance, but for unknowingly equipping me with the perfect script for this midlife transformation. Each sassy phrase and stern warning was actually advanced training for the biological obstacle course ahead.
To all the daughters entering this sweaty, forgetful, emotional rollercoaster: Your mother’s voice in your head isn’t just nostalgia, it’s your survival guide. And to all the mothers who wondered if we were listening: We were. We just didn’t know how much we’d need your words until now.
So let’s raise a glass of wine, water or collagen tea. We’re not just celebrating mothers this year—we’re becoming them, one hot flash and forgotten grocery item at a time.
Carlos Vargas Gierke
